Plans

I'm gonna tell y'all right up front... this post has little (if anything) to do with me going to Mexico...just a few thoughts that have been swimmin' around my head that I wanna remember. :)


My friend Jontae and I were talking tonight, and it got me thinking a lot about plans. When I was younger (....so much younger than todaaaay- sorry, I had to! lol) I had a lot of plans. According to my plans, I was to finish high school, go to college where I would meet the man of my dreams, get my degree, become a teacher, get married, and have some babies. (The number went back and forth as to how many children I would have- it all depended on whether or not I had a good day working at the daycare. Good day=5 or more kids, bad day=1.) My plan was to be married by 21, first kid at 23. All of my ducks were in a row. :)

Obviously, that did not happen. I remember when I decided to stop taking college classes. I was terrified! My little plan was slowly unraveling... and I didn't have my little ducks in a row anymore! Then my 21st birthday came, with no fella to celebrate with. Scary! Then came my 23. No degree, no dude, AND no babies! (not sayin' I wanted the kids minus the fella, don't get me wrong here!) I remember thinking, "This isn't how it was supposed to work out! This is NOT the plan!"


Then I look at where I am now. No kids, no fella, still no degree. It's so easy to look at life when plans don't go the way you intended and think, "This is AWFUL! My plan was SO much better!" That's what I was thinking about tonight. I could easily look at my life and cry, "God, this stinks!" Then I take a look at GOD'S plan. Would I have the relationship I have with my parents if I moved out (and actually stayed out ;)) when I was 18? No way! Would I be as close to my friends if I had moved away (and stayed away)? Nope. Would I be 10 days away from going on a trip that will rock my world? Probably not. 


The more I think about my plans, the more I realize that God's really got this whole life of mine under control. :) It may seem scary, crazy, and not "normal" from my point of view, but the closer I get with God, the more I realize His plan is SO much better than mine! 


I sometimes try to force my plan on God. I forced a relationship to go on YEARS after it's sell-by date simply because it was around the age I was looking to get married. I spent a LOT of money on classes towards a degree when I knew God was trying to scoot me in another direction. When His plan looked too scary, or too "weird" I went along kicking and screaming with mine, regardless of how unhappy I was, just because it was "the plan." 


I'm not saying that planning is bad. That you shouldn't be responsible, or that you should be reckless. I'm just saying that planning is great, as long as you keep your plans open to move you wherever you feel God lead. 


Here's what I look like on paper:
25y single female, living with her parents. No college degree, no significant job experience, no trade skills. Barely making it paycheck to paycheck, with no higher paying job prospect in sight. No potential husband, no boyfriend, hasn't even dated in roughly 5 years. 


Not so hot, huh? You know what though? I would put my life up against any big-wig millionaire, with their 2.5 children and white picket fence. I may not have your job, money, or fancy resume, but I've got more love than I deserve, family who supports me no matter how insane my decisions seem, friends that I wouldn't trade the world for, and I job I look forward to going to with co-workers I actually enjoy spending time with.


I may not look great on paper, but I wouldn't trade God's plan for mine even if I had the choice. :)