I absolutely love music. I love the way it speaks to a part of me that nothing else can ever reach. It can stir me to action, bring me to tears, and force me to dig deep and think hard. Music moves me in a way that not much, if anything else, can.
I discovered a new song at church yesterday, and it has sat with me all day long. I have hummed it through the halls of my job, chewed on it's words and their meanings, and felt it begin to slightly nudge my heart.
The name of the song is Oceans, (the lyrics/video are on the bottom) which instantly got my attention. The beach is one of my favorite places in the world, and the ocean is one of my favorite pieces of that sacred place.
The song speaks of how God is calling us to step out from along the shoreline, walk into the water, and trust that He is strong enough to lead us through the waves.
It reminded me of a time I spent at the ocean a year or so ago. Friends and I were in the water, laughing and splashing around like kids. It was the first day of our vacation where the signs declaring it was not safe to swim had finally been taken down. I was thrilled to get a chance to jump the waves, and to feel the water lift me as I floated above the crashing tides.
Little did I know that at the time, although the signs proclaiming there was danger in the water had been removed, the current was still very strong. Soon I found myself much deeper than I intended.
Unable to reach the sand below to stand and push myself above the waves to take a breath, I quickly realized I was in too deep. I began swimming as hard as my legs and arms would take me, but despite how hard I thrashed and kicked, I was being pulled further out into the chasm.
Gasping for air, but instead inhaling what felt like gallons of water, I panicked. I was screaming, in tears, not knowing what to do to be able to take a breath. Waves came one after another, relentlessly slamming over me and stealing any chance of inhaling anything but the salty ocean sea.
In that moment, I contemplated the fact that I may actually drown. A friend, only a few yards in front of me, reached out as if she could somehow reach through the crashing waves and grab my hand. Fear and helplessness enveloped her face as she watched me get pummeled over and over. I thought about how awful it would be if she had to stand there helplessly and watch me die. In all of my exhaustion and my inability to breath, I could barely exhale the words, "God, please help me."
Out of nowhere, the panic subsided. Peace washed over me and I felt that still small voice whisper, "be still and trust in me." My muscles released their grip, and I began to float. I laid on my back, lifting me feet to the surface instead of desperately kicking for the ground. On my back, facing the sky, I was able to take a deep breath. The waves still crashed, but they were crashing beneath me now.
This may seem insanely overdramatic, but let me tell ya folks- that fear was fear like I had never felt before. The whole ordeal probably lasted five minutes or less, but it was the closest I have ever been to facing my mortality.
This song, Oceans, brought that experience to mind. Then, God did something remarkable. (He's pretty cool like that.)
He made me realize that sometimes, my relationship with God can be exactly like that experience. I go into a situation or experience head first, running as fast as I can, thrilled to experience everything. Then the waves come. I get a little father out than I intended. All of a sudden, my feet no longer can reach the sand, and I'm thrashing around trying to save myself.
In the middle of the great unknown I can feel like I'm drowning. I can feel like I'm in too deep and I have to fight for even the smallest breath. But here's the deal- all I need to do is whisper His name. To stop flailing around trying to save myself, and breath the name of the only one who has the power to calm my soul and trust that I can rest in his embrace.
It is only in the midst of the waves, with only my eyes peeking above the water that I will truly allow his grace to rescue me. In my pride I feel like I should save myself. In reality, it is when I've got nothing left that I'll finally allow him to come in and save me. And he does, every time. After I'm done with my panic-driven hissy fit, it's a beautiful ride.
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the watersThe great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mysteryIn oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your nameAnd keep my eyes above the wavesWhen oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embraceFor I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest watersYour sovereign handWill be my guideWhere feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
And I will call upon Your nameAnd keep my eyes above the wavesWhen oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embraceFor I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without bordersLet me walk upon the watersWherever You would call meTake me deeper than my feet could ever wanderAnd my faith will be made strongerIn the presence of my Savior[x6]
And I will call upon Your nameAnd keep my eyes above the wavesWhen oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embraceFor I am Yours and You are mine
