First thing's first: I'm not headed to Mexico just yet. I'm kickin' it here in the states until October 2012, so I can spend a little more time fundraising. :)
I'm going to be completely honest here. When I got the e-mail that my move date was bumped back, my first thought? "I failed. I din't raise enough money in time, I didn't do enough, I should've, I could've.... I-I-I-I..."
God is awesome. I mean, really super-fantastic you-really-oughta-get-to-know-this-guy awesome. Right in the middle of my tail spin "I suck at life" moment, God shook me up a bit. In the middle of all my "I's", God stopped me dead in my tracks and said "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!! IT'S ABOUT ME!"
(Just FYI- when I say "God said" I don't mean the heavens split open and a deep majestic voiced boomed from the heavens. :))
It's not about me. :) This kinda goal is not something I can accomplish on my own. I can never do enough, be enough, say enough to get God's plan rolling. He's already got this. He has all along.
Truth is, I don't want to be in Mexico if He doesn't want me there. (This may not seem like a profound statement to anyone reading this- but it took A LOT of prayer and soul-searching to get to that point, let me tell you!!) Anyone who knows me knows that my heart is there. I can not wait to get to serve the families and kids there. But it simply won't work if God's not in it. So God said wait... and I'm waiting. :)
I thought I'd be REALLY upset if my move date got bumped back, but God has continually affirmed this move, and I fully trust that He'll keep His word and see this thing through. Every time doubt or fear tries to creep in, God blows it out of the water in big ways, constantly reminding me "I've got this- quit stressin'!"
This journey has been really remarkable already. I can't even begin to think how awesome it will be once I GET there! :)
